Arizona Humor

More than Forgotten

In the mid 1920s, our family was traveling by automobile from Tempe to visit relatives in Illinois.

After driving through Texas for hours and seeing little but dust devils, scrub growth, and a few rabbits, my brother leaned forward and asked, "Dad, if Arizona is the land that God forgot, then what's Texas?"

Two Tribes

My wife and I have enjoyed many Arizona winters in the Bullhead City area, which has two Indian tribes: the Mohaves and (after they've been unlucky in the casinos across the Colorado River) the Mohavenots.

You Want to Go Where?

At the Kingman Chamber of Commerce, our informationtion center is quite busy in the summertime as tourists stop in on their way to and from the Grand Canyon.

One day a young German couple came in. They were headed to Las Vegas, and they said that although they had enjoyed Arizona immensly, their visit wasn't quite complete.

As they headed west toward Kingman, they had passed a billboard advertising a beautiful destination and wanted to see it before leaving Arizona.

"But we can't find it on our map," the young man said. "So can you please tell us how to get to Marlboro Country?"

Doggone It

My daughter and 7-year-old grandson, Charlie, came to visit me, and they brought their Scottish terrier puppy, Rosie, along with them. Despite his mother's warnings, little Charlie left his crayons on the floor one day, and Rosie ate the purple, green, and orange ones.

When Charlie's mother asked him what he had to say for himself, he replied coolly, "Well, I guess Rosie only likes secondary colors."

Monument Valley Trail Ride

While visiting Arizona one summer, my husband and I took our daughter on her first horseback ride to see the wonderful petroglyphs in Monument Valley.

She watched intently as the Indian guide saddled our horses, complete with saddlebags, then looked up and said, "Daddy, I didn't know horses had pockets."

By the Book

A faithful churchgoer also kept a wrecking yard in the Phoenix area, and he had everything in perfect order. When I asked him how he

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managed to sort his junk so well, he said he got the idea from the Bible: "Smashes to smashes and rust to rust."

Special Directions

Some years ago, one of my husband's friends, the warden at the Arizona State Prison at Florence, invited us over for a weekend.

On the way, we stopped at a filling station in Gila Bend to check our directions.

"How do you get to the state prison?" I inquired.

The attendant replied, without hesitation, "Rob a bank."

Phenomenon

When I was growing up, my parents ran a gas station halfway between Wick-enburg and the California bor-der. One day when I was about 10 years old, a vacationing fam-ily stopped in to fill up with gas. The driver stepped out into the 115° F. heat and gazed at a cloud in the distance.

"Think it will rain?" he asked.

"I sure hope so," replied my father. "Not so much for myself as for my son here. You see, I have already seen it rain."

Unusual Flower

We were sitting quietly on my friend Will's patio, bird-watching, when he told us that hummingbirds come up to him when he wears a red shirt.

I commented that perhaps the birds think he is a large flower.

"Yes," chirped his wife, Kathy. "A blooming idiot."