Wit Stop

WIT STOP Dry Heat: the Great Arizona Cliche

It happens to every midsummer visitor to Arizona. With some it's as soon as they step off the plane or drive across the state line. Others may wait a day or two. Only the strong-willed can resist for a week or more. Sooner or later each one of them will say, "Yes, but it's a dry heat." Even people who don't want to say it, say it.

"How are you doing?" a passerby greets you.

"Not bad," you reply in a neighborly way. "Hot enough for you?" the stranger asks. Now that's a strange question. Why are folks asking you if it's hot enough? Were you appointed "Temperature General of the United States?" Do they ask other people if it's hot enough for them? Suppose you say it is hot enough for you and another says it's not hot enough for him. A debate, even a fight, could start. Strange question. But you answer it.

"Hot enough for you?" the stranger asks. Now that's a strange question. Why are folks asking you if it's hot enough? Were you appointed "Temperature General of the United States?" Do they ask other people if it's hot enough for them? Suppose you say it is hot enough for you and another says it's not hot enough for him. A debate, even a fight, could start. Strange question. But you answer it.

If you're in Arizona, you answer it with, "Yes, but it's a dry heat."

You didn't want to answer it like that. You promised yourself you would never respond with such a trite phrase, but you did. Why? The answer is simple: you're in Arizona, and it's the law.

Arizona wants to promote her dry heat. It may someday be the motto on license plates. "The Dry Heat State," or "Soggy Summers Never Had 'Em; Never Will," or "Arizona Where You Simmer, but You Never Soak."

But what does the cliche, "It's a dry heat," mean?

It's meant to be conciliatory. Folks are saying, "Look, I know you're suffering in these unreasonably high temperatures. The permanent has drooped out of your hair. Your walking shoes have melted. But look on the bright side. It's a dry heat."

Being in Beverly Hills and having a car back into you, snapping your kneecap into three pieces, and someone consoles you by saying, "Yeah, but it was a Mercedes Benz."

It's like being attacked by a rabid dog and having someone comfort you with, "That's a nasty series of bites you have there, but it was a short-haired dog."

What consolation is it? One implication is that dry heat is preferred, but to what? I suppose dry heat would be preferable to being captured by a roving band of cannibals, set into a pot of water with assorted herbs and vegetables, and boiled until tender. Now that's a wet heat. And it is uncomfortable.

Basically the cliche is meaningless. Yet Arizonans hear it so often, they begin to take pride in it. "Yes, we have dry heat here, and we're doggone proud of it. If we could find a way to symbolize it, we'd include it on the state flag."

Some Arizonans even believe it: "Mark Twain once said thateverybody talks about the weather, but no one ever does anything about it. Well, here in Arizona we do. We dry our heat before we serve it to you. There's rare, medium rare, medium well. We can even give it to you well done, if you like, but we don't guarantee it."

Someone also said that two things are certain in this life: death and taxes. In Arizona in summertime, two other things are certain: heat and people saying, "Yes, but it's a dry heat."

I wonder, though, if the opposite is true. Do tourists flock to the northernmost reaches of Alaska in the middle of winter and proclaim to the natives, "Yes, but it's a wet cold"?

INTRODUCING OUR WILD WEST BOOK SERIES 20 STORIES OF ARIZONA'S WORST DESPERADOS, AND THE LAWMEN WHO BROUGHT THEM TO JUSTICE Gathered by Arizona Highways from more than 70 years of writing about the Old West

Listen to some of them: "Every man who comes in your way kill him. Spare him no mercy, for he will show you none."

"Send two coffins and a doctor."

"Don't, boys, don't. I can't stand it. I've played my last game of pool."

DAYS DESTINY

144 pages, softcover, black and white illustrations. Available June 24, 1996. #ADAP6 $7.95

Other timely books from Arizona Highways

Arizona Ghost Towns and Mining Camps A complete guide to the state's best ghost towns including maps and color photography. 136 pages, softcover. #AZGS4 $14.95 Tucson to Tombstone A complete guide to Southeastern Arizona including maps and color photography. 96 pages, softcover. #ATTS5 $12.95 To order use the attached card or call toll-free nationwide, 1-800-543-5432. In the Phoenix area or outside the U.S., call 602-258-1000 or fax 602-254-4505. Shop Arizona Highways online at http://www.arizhwys.com/