HIGHWAY TO HUMOR

Fools. But after an hour of pondering, with the forest murmuring its terrible ode under a gunpowder sky, doubts emerge. And they grow as the moments tick off.

Don't get me wrong. I didn't see the White Ghost, and I didn't hear the pounding of his hooves. But I didn't have to. The forest remembers. Al

LOCATION: Kendrick Peak, which straddles the Kaibab and Coconino national forests, is about 17 miles northwest of Flagstaff and 23 miles northeast of Williams.

GETTING THERE: From Flagstaff, travel 30 miles west on Interstate 40 to Williams. Exit I-40 just before Williams and take State Route 64 north toward the Grand Canyon. Forest Road 141 links to State 64 about 5 miles north of Williams.

TRAVEL ADVISORY: The forest roads are easily passable, except after a hard rain. For more information, check with the Kaibab National Forest in Williams, Williams Ranger District, (928) 635-8200.

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: Williams-Grand Canyon Chamber of Commerce, (928) 6351418; Flagstaff Chamber of Commerce, (928) 774-4505; Coconino National Forest, Peaks Ranger District, Flagstaff, (928) 527-3600.

Jokes, Witticisms and Whatchamacallits

{ early day arizona }

He and his best girl strolled into the fancy French restaurant. He tried to put on his I-do-this-everyevening look.

WAITER: "Will Monsieur have a la carte or table d'hote?"

YOUNG MAN: "Both. And put plenty of gravy on them."

The Weekly Tribune (Tucson), APRIL 24, 1909

RODEO JOKES

We asked readers for rodeo jokes. Here are some responses: It's no wonder so many young people want to join the rodeo. What other profession averages more than 100 bucks an hour?

When the champion rodeo bronc rider was asked why he wore only one spur, he replied, "I've noticed that if you can get one side of a horse to move, the other side will always go along."

One bronco was so ferocious a contestant actually refused to get on it, a technique called "passing the buck."

Two small boys belonging to rodeo families were playing behind the bucking chutes at the local rodeo when the strains of "The Star-Spangled Banner" could be heard signaling the start of the show.

One little fellow asked his friend, "What's that song they always play?"

The other one answered, "I think it's called 'Bronc Riders Get Ready.'"

Our rodeo horse was half horse, half hyena. He'd throw the rider, then laugh.

One rodeo rider was thrown so often he earned frequentflier miles.

With dreams of rodeo glory dancing in his head, a tenderfoot decided to hone his horsemanship. He mounted the horse, and it sprang into motion. It galloped along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the tenderfoot began to slip from the saddle. Terrified, he grabbed for the horse's mane, but couldn't seem to get a firm grip. He tried to throw his arms around the horse's neck and almost lost his balance. The horse galloped along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, the tenderfoot tried to throw himself to safety by leaping from the horse. Unfortunately, his foot became entangled in thestirrup, putting him at the mercy of the pounding hooves. His head battered repeatedly against the ground, and he was moments away from unconsciousness when, to his great fortune, the Wal-Mart manager ran out and unplugged the horse.

UNUSUAL PERSPECTIVE

Maricopa County, where Phoenix is located, has 168 golf courses, more than any other county in the country. Its motto is "Fore!" - Linda Perret On their first visit to the West, the city slicker and his wife decided to attend a rodeo. After watching rider after rider get thrown in the bull-riding event, the tourist turned to his wife and said, "Gosh Betsy, those bulls sure are mean. How do they ever get close enough to milk them?"

It'tended bar in a tavern across the street from Tucson's rodeo grounds. My husband came to pick me up and sat at the bar while he waited for my shift to end. He noticed four tough bull riders laughing and loudly bragging about their day's adventures.

He wandered over to them and calmly said, "Ya' know, I could have been a bull rider if it wasn't for my stomach trouble."

They snickered and asked, "What kind of stomach trouble do you have?"

He looked them straight in the eye and said, "No guts."

Running late for his next performance, a rodeo clown was pulled over while speeding from Tucson to Phoenix. Suspicious of the costume, the officer demanded to inspect the contents of the trunk. To his amazement, it was filled with razor-sharp stainless steel Bowie knives. Asking why so many lethal weapons were concealed in the trunk, the officer was unimpressed with the explanation that the clown's specialty was daredevil juggling. "These Bowie knives are simply the tools of my trade," he said. "Now, can I just have my ticket and be on my way?"

"Not until you prove your story," quipped the cop. "I want to see you juggle a dozen of these knives at the same time, right now." Conceding with a sigh, the clown soon had a dozen blades flashing in the sun as they sailed in precision above his head. Just about that time, on the other side of the road, heading in the opposite direction, Clem and Slim were returning from Phoenix to Tucson. Noticing the strange spectacle of a trooper and cruiser accompanied by a clown juggling a dozen Bowie knives, Clem turned to Slim and asked, "Did you see what I just saw?"

"Yeah," drawled Slim, "that DUI test is gettin' tougher and tougher all the time!"

{ reader's corner }

I put hot sauce on everything. I'm the only person I know whose cereal goes "snap, crackle and holy moly." Send us your hot sauce jokes and we'll pay you $50 for each one we use.

TO SUBMIT HUMOR: Send your jokes and humorous Arizona anecdotes to Humor, Arizona Highways, 2039 W. Lewis Ave., Phoenix, AZ 85009 or e-mail us at [email protected]. Please include your name, address and telephone number with each submission.