ALONG THE WAY

ROAD CONSTRUCTION

We asked our readers for road construction jokes, and here are some they sent: Your foreman is so stubborn, wearing a hard hat would be redundant.

There is so much construction on Arizona roads these days, they're going to change the official state bird to the crane.

Both by GREGG SIEGEL Gaithersburg, MD

{ early day arizona }

"Oh, my!" she exclaimed impatiently. "We'll be sure to miss the first act. We've been waiting a good many minutes for that mother of mine."

"Hours, I should say," he replied tartly.

"Ours?" she cried joyfully. "Oh, George, this is so sudden!"

Jerome Mining News, DECEMBER 23, 1911 man was speeding down the highway in a construction zone, feeling secure in a group of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, he got nailed by an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.

The officer handed him the citation and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding in a construction zone, but I don't think it's fair. There were lots of other cars around me going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?"

"Ever go fishing?" the policeman asked in return.

"Uhhh, yeah," the startled man replied.

The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch all the fish?"

ERIK CONNOR, Phoenix It was 2 A.M. when the state trooper pulled over a driver going 65 mph in a deserted 45 mph road construction zone on the Beeline Highway east of Phoenix.

"What's the hurry?" the officer asked. "Can't you see this road is under construction?"

"But, officer," the driver

UNUSUAL PERSPECTIVE

Colossal Cave in Tucson was once a haven for robbers. Legends say there is still money hidden there, which attracts thousands of tourists. Shoot, if I wanted to spend my time looking for money that doesn't exist, all I have to do is balance my checkbook. — Linda Perret replied, "I was just trying to keep up with the traffic."

Dumbfounded, the trooper said, "I can't see another car around here for miles."

"See how far behind I am?" the driver answered.

LARRY CHARLES, Peoria You don't have to worry about road construction where I'm from. Nothing ever gets fixed.

JOHN KRIWIEL, Oak Lawn, IL Years ago I worked at a swanky resort in the desert near Tucson when a road construction outfit was busy nearby. Because we were the only restaurant around, I shouldn't have been surprised to see the dustcovered crew come in for lunch.

One fellow said he was going to clean up before ordering. But he didn't come back from the rest room for the longest time.

Finally he came back, looking sheepish. "I know the sign in the rest room said 'EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS," he said, "but I couldn't wait any longer. I did it myself."

MRS. GARNETT CHARLES, Sun City These are the mangiest, most motheaten, miserable beasts I've ever seen."

One buffalo turned to the other and said, "You know, I think I just heard a discouraging word."

HERM ALBRIGHT, Indianapolis, IN

MIGRATORY VULTURES

A staple in a vulture's diet, as everyone knows, is roadkill. Vultures know that the worse people drive, the more they have to eat. Accordingly, much of northern Arizona's vulture population has migrated in recent years to Utah.

JARED WHITLEY, Salt Lake City, UT

HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT

A boy had a school assignment to write about the job his mother or father held, so he went to his dad, a mechanic, and asked how to explain what he did for a living.

"Son," the father answered, "the easiest way is to say that a mechanic is a person who gives your car a part transplant."

RUTH BURKE, San Simon

{ reader's corner }

Salsa has it all over the other condiments.

How many people get dressed up on a Friday night to go ketchup dancing?

Send us your salsa jokes, and we'll pay $50 for each one we publish.

TO SUBMIT HUMOR: Send your jokes and humorous Arizona anecdotes to Humor, Arizona Highways, 2039 W. Lewis Ave., Phoenix, AZ 85009 or e-mail us at [email protected]. Please include your name, address and telephone number with each submission.

arizona highways.com

GASOLINE PRICES

While paying for a purchase at a station in Safford, I asked the attendant, an older woman: "Why is gasoline $1.49 in New Mexico, but $1.64 here?"

Her irrefutable reply: "Because it's cheaper over there."

ORVAL LOWE, Safford

SELDOM HEARD

buffaloes were standing near a highway when a passing motorist said, "Those