ALL WHO WANDER

Passing Through the Maelstrom With Hope and Help

CRAIG, THE ADONIS ideal of a boatman, pivoted the unwieldy pontoon boat deftly into the gyre of quiet water behind the primordial monolith of the Anvil. We could hear the ravenous roar of Lava Falls Rapids downstream. I trembled with 200 miles worth of anticipation of the most violent Grand Canyon rapid, but I still had not decided whether to sit on the front of the pontoon for the plunge into the rapid or stay safely in the "chicken coop" in the center.

Craig launched into a witty discourse, like a Disneyland jungle-boat driver on a river with real hippos and headhunters. The furious rapids were all that remained of an extinct volcano's foolish attempt to thwart the Colorado River, and we had anticipated the upcoming five minutes of fear and fury for a week. I can perfectly recall the pounding of my pulse in earshot of Lava, with my pride and my hopes and my sons perched precariously on the pontoon tip. Kind of reminds me of how it felt to sign on here as editor. Can you believe that it's been a year?

It seems like the right moment to touch the flood-smoothed sides of the Anvil, report on our journey and consider the import of the roar sounding up out of the canyon ahead. This month, Arizona Highways celebrates its 81st birthday with this incrementally redesigned magazine. The departments have a different, more flexible look. You've probably noticed other changes we've made as we've paddled along. We're still hopelessly in love with landscape photography, but now we include more information about how our photographers make such stunning images. We still spin great yarns, but also include more, shorter stories. We've retained a clean, handmade design, but include more travel tips and information.

I'd like to tell you it's been a catered raft trip with soufflés in the Dutch oven. In truth, we've been bouncing off boulders. A year ago, we faced problems with our circulation, newsstand sales and bank balance. We were afraid we would have to cut pages or the size of the magazine. We'd already had to drop several features treasured by many readers.

So we lashed down the load and strapped ourselves to the pontoon.

Mercifully, our beloved readers have responded. Newsstand sales jumped by about a third, our circulation decline slowed significantly, sales of books and calendars rose, our bank account grew.

I did a number of dumb things that might have capsized the raft. Fortunately, the most wonderful collection of writers, photographers, editors, friends and fellow travelers yanked me back each time I started to slide off the pontoon.

Moreover, I've been sustained, tolerated and inspired by our wonderful readers, even when you write to point out some blunder. Clearly, you love this luminous and lyrical magazine as much as I do. Coming to work is a joy.

Of course, I worry I'll puncture a pontoon. I love this magazine so much that it would break my heart to hurt it.

But then I remember how much Lava Falls frightened me just before my son crawled out onto the front of the pontoon and gripped the ropes for the descent into the pit of Lava. As you have done, he gave me the courage to swallow the lump of my heart and climb onto the bright blue tip of the pontoon.

The maelstrom of water sucked in the great raft like a scrap of hope. The raft plunged, slid, rose, trembled, bent, folded, shuddered, then plunged again. We clung to the rope as our fingers purpled, screaming, spitting and laughing in a chaos of sound and water. The pontoon slammed into a wet white wall and doubled back, wrenching my right hand loose. I slid sideways, but sitting behind me was a woman whose bout with breast cancer had convinced her to fulfill a lifelong dream and raft the Grand Canyon. She grabbed my slicker until I regained my grip.

So I passed through Lava with hope and help. It changed me, for we are defined by the things we fear and the things we dare.

So here is your magazine, which Win has made solvent and Barb has made beautiful, and Beth has made graceful, and Pete (the other Pete) has made luminous, and Richard has made aesthetic, and Randy has made credible, and Sally has made accurate, and Billie has made cool and everyone has made better. I hope you love it as much as we do. But if you don't, I hope you will tell me so we can fix it. In the meanwhile, please forgive me my fumbles. For you are the river and have changed me irrevocably. I thank you for that.