EXPERIENCE ARIZONA

His Hat's Off to SEDONA'S Intriguing Rainbow-colored BEAUTY

THERE AREN'T TOO MANY PLACES IN THE world as beautiful as the Red Rock Country of Sedona. Enjoying the intriguing colors of the surrounding mountains is like gazing into a rainbow. Not only can you stare at this gorgeous scenery, you can hike into it, camp there or even take a Jeep tour with a knowledgeable, eloquent guide. That's what my wife and I did one day-we took a Jeep ride.

We gathered with several other tourists near our assigned Jeep and met Tom, our tour guide. He introduced himself to each rider in our Jeep. When he came to me, he pointed to the hat I'd just purchased-it had "Sedona" written across it-and said, "You're wearing a hat with a woman's name on it."

I asked, "What?"

He said, "This town was named after Sedona Schnebly. So you're wearing a hat with a woman's name on it."

I wanted to confront Tom physically, but I decided against it. After all, he was carrying a six-shooter. All I had was a hat with a woman's name on it.

This tour was not starting out well for me. Cowboy Tom began our excursion along the main thoroughfare through Sedona. He was traveling west along State Route 89A so fast that my hat started traveling east along State Route 89A.

"Stop the Jeep," I said. "My hat blew off."

Cowboy Tom never even slowed down. He glanced in the rearview mirror, noticed that my hat was halfway to Flagstaff by now and said, "So now, you're not wearing a hat with a woman's name on it."

Cowboy Tom pointed out a jutting rock ahead of us. He said, "See that tall steeple of rock up there? That's called Chimney Rock."

I asked, "Why is it called Chimney Rock?"

Cowboy Tom said, "Because it looks like a chimney."

The others turned and looked at me with a what-a-dumb-question-that-was look.

We took a couple of turns and traveled along a few dirt roads. Cowboy Tom stopped the Jeep and said, "See that rock formation over there?"

We all gawked and saw three columns rising up to the sky.

He said, "That's known as Three Finger Rock."

I asked, "Why do they call it Three Finger Rock?"

Cowboy Tom volunteered, "Because it looks like three fingers." He had a pat answer for everything.

Then Tom added, "But you know something, that's the same rock we saw earlier that was called Chimney Rock."

People "oohed" and "aahed."

I asked, "Well, which is it? Chimney Rock or Three Finger Rock?"

Cowboy Tom said, "It's both. From one side of town it's Chimney Rock, and from the other side of town it's Three Finger Rock."

I said, "It's got to be either one or the other. You can't have a rock with two names."

Cowboy Tom said, "Why not? John Wayne had two names. He was also known as Duke."

I said, "Yeah, but he didn't look like John Wayne from one side of town and Maureen O'Hara from the other."

Next Cowboy Tom pointed out the famous Coffee Pot Rock.

I asked, "Why is it called Coffee Pot Rock?"

The other tourists kind of groaned and raised their eyes heavenward.

Cowboy Tom said, "Because it looks like a coffeepot."

I asked, "What did it look like before it looked like a coffeepot?

Cowboy Tom said, "It always looked like a coffeepot."

I said, "It couldn't always look like a coffeepot because it was there long before coffeepots were invented."

Cowboy Tom said, "Well, then, I guess way back then it must have looked like something that would one day look like a coffeepot."

I asked, "Well what did the people who lived on these lands call it?' Tom said, "I never asked them."

I asked, "Why not?"

He said, "Because they left this area around the year A.D. 1425."

I asked, "Why'd they leave?"

Another passenger said, "Maybe to get away from the annoying tourists who asked moronic questions." All Harvey Green the Eating Machine, is a humorous look at the eating habits of a boy who doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut, and features superb illustrations by Gary Bennett. To order this book ($12.95 plus shipping and handling) or any of the Perret joke books, call toll-free (800) 543-5432. In Phoenix call (602) 712-2000. Or use arizonahighways.com.