Arizona Humor

rizona Humor FISHING ELECTRICIAN

While I was a professor at Northern Arizona University, I went on a fishing trip to Lake Mead with Shorty Shaum, a Flagstaff electrician.

The red light on his trailer was broken, so he took a few minutes to rewire it.

"Do you think it will work?" I asked.

"It'll have to work," Shorty replied. "It doesn't have an education."

PARTY BEFORE ROUNDUP

The ranch foreman was in the middle of a roundup, so it was only with great reluctance that he agreed to attend a birthday party.

By the time the celebration was concluded, driving back to the ranch had little appeal. His host offered the old man the guest room and promised to wake him in time to get back to the ranch before the day's work began. The cowboy accepted.

A few minutes before 4:00 A.M., the host shook the man awake.

Still half asleep, the cowboy drawled, "It sure don't take long to spend the night at your house."

PERFECT PICTURE

While showing beautiful Walnut Canyon near Flagstaff to visitors, we noticed a young tourist standing precariously close to the edge of a cliff, trying for that "perfect picture."

His pretty companion exclaimed, "Michael, you're too close to the edge!"

Engrossed in his photography, he didn't seem to hear her.

We watched with alarm as he moved closer and closer to the sheer drop.

"Michael, stop," the girl pleaded. "Don't go any farther."

Still, he seemed to ignore her.

Finally, exasperated, she snapped, "Michael, if you must stand so close to the edge, will you please let me hold the car keys?"

RESTAURANT GEOGRAPHY

In the early 1960s, General Electric transplanted a number of young engineers to its plant north of Phoenix. In those days, the plant was in a pretty remote area.

We soon tired of cafeteria cuisine at the plant and so searched for a restaurant within driving distance. We found a small café on 19th Avenue that served good hamburgers.

During one of my early visits there, I asked for a Bermuda onion for my sandwich.

"I'm sorry, sir," the waitress replied, "all our onions come from Litchfield Park."

GRAND CANYON HIKE

A group of us hikers were milling around and resting before taking on the next climb.

Richard, the oldest among us, took the opportunity to congratulate Davy, the youngest, on hiking to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and out again on the same day.

Acting a bit hurt, I inquired why I was not congratulated for doing the same thing in 1953.

"Big deal," piped up Davy. "It was not as deep then."

JESUS' MOTHER

Our three-year-old granddaughter, Laine, returning from a preschool Christmas party, asked, "Who was baby Jesus' mommy?"

Grandma explained her name was Mary.

"No, Grandma," Laine said. So Grandma patiently explained again that, yes, the name of Jesus' mother was Mary.

Laine looked perplexed. Several moments passed, and then the child replied with all the conviction that she could muster: "Grandma, Mary had a little lamb!"

THE SOUTHWESTERN H

While I was directing traffic at a busy Tucson intersection, I was asked by a man driving a vehicle with plates from a northeastern state if I could direct him to Ajo, which he pronounced AJoe.

I explained that the city's name was pronounced Ah-Ho and that the letter J is often pronounced like an H in the Southwest. I then gave him directions.

The gentleman thanked me and then inquired, "Just how hot does it get here in Hune and Huly?"

POLITICIAN'S DELIGHT

I had just washed my hands in the rest room at one of the scenic overlooks of the Grand Canyon and stepped to the wall-mounted hand dryer.

To my amusement there was a neatly typewritten card taped on the wall above the dryer that said, "To hear a message from your local congressman, please push the button."

Needless to say, what came out was a lot of hot air.

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