Wit Stop

WIT STOP Some Search the Heavens Others Find Black Holes on Earth

TEXT BY GENE PERRET ILLUSTRATION BY NEAL ASPINALL Some of the most beautiful scenery in present-day Arizona is not even in Arizona. And it's not present-day; it existed a long, long time ago. We can see it today, though. Rather, we can see it tonight. It's the evening sky above Arizona. Looking up on a clear night, you can see the planets and the constellations sparkling above: the Big Dipper, the Little Dipper, the Archer. All of these star clusters have complex Latinesque names, but those of us who know them well call them by their nicknames. They're not present-day because they're so high above Arizona, hundreds of light years away, that we're seeing the stars as they were a long time ago. For all we know, the handle may have fallen off the Little Dipper last October. We won't find out about it for thousands of years. One of the most fascinating phenomena seen in the sky can't be seen: black holes. These are massive stars that became so dense they collapsed into themselves. Any energy that approaches them is sucked into their gravitational field whoooosh and can never escape. Even light waves can't get out. That's why we can't see black holes but we know they're there.Black holes exist on Earth, too. My mother either invented or discovered a black hole on this planet. At the very least, she learned how to put it to practical use. Let me explain: When I was a youngster, a nickel was a considerable amount of money. I would ask Grandmom for a nickel, and she'd say, "If I had a nickel, I'd sit up all night and watch it."

I don't know if that meant she'd be so thrilled to have a nickel that she would just stare at it in delight and wonder, or if it was so precious she would spend the entire night guarding it. I do know it meant "no." Mom, though, was more generous. I'd ask, "Mom, can I have a nickel?" "What do you want it for?" "To buy candy." "Oh, all right." See, Mom never turned me down. Then she'd say, "Find my purse." Whoooosh. The purse was always in a black hole somewhere. Here are some other examples of earthly black holes: "Good evening, I'll be your waiter for the evening. Would you care to order now or would you like a few minutes?" "I think we'd like to wait a little while." "Very well, sir." Whoooosh. We never see him again. Here's a very common one: "Honey, where's my other sock?" I ask my wife. She says, "Which other sock?" "The other brown and tan argyle sock. You know, the ones I like to wear with my blue suit." "They should be in your sock drawer." "There's only one in here." My wife explains, "Well, I washed them, and only one came out of the washer." "I can't wear just one sock. Where is the other one?" "I don't know, but it has to turn up sometime." Whoooosh. It never turns up again. You're driving along, enjoy ing a gorgeous day, perhaps going a little too fast. At leastthat officer in the police car with the red light flashing and siren wailing thinks so. You pull over, and he approaches your car. "Do you know how fast you were going?" "No, officer, I really don't. I was just reveling in this gorgeous day and didn't notice the speed." He says, "It is a beautiful day, isn't it?" "Yes sir, it is." "I was thinking what a gorgeous day it was myself until I saw you zoom by." "I apologize, sir. I didn't mean to do anything unsafe." He says, "This lovely day has put me in a good mood. I'm going to let you off with a warning this time." "Thank you, sir."

that officer in the police car with the red light flashing and siren wailing thinks so. You pull over, and he approaches your car. "Do you know how fast you were going?" "No, officer, I really don't. I was just reveling in this gorgeous day and didn't notice the speed." He says, "It is a beautiful day, isn't it?" "Yes sir, it is." "I was thinking what a gorgeous day it was myself until I saw you zoom by." "I apologize, sir. I didn't mean to do anything unsafe." He says, "This lovely day has put me in a good mood. I'm going to let you off with a warning this time." "Thank you, sir."

"All I have to do is take a look at your car registration, and you'll be back on your way again." "Yes sir, officer. I have it right here in the glove compartment." Whoooosh. And how about this one: You start your car in the morning. Vrooommm...vrooomm clankety-clank-clankety-clank. You drive along the road on your way to the mechanic to get this annoying problem repaired. Vrooomm. vrooomm clank-clank-clankety-clank. The guy in the lane next to you lowers his window and shouts, "Get that piece of junk off the road, will ya?" You drive on. Vrooomm... clankety-clankclankety-clank. Two kids pass you on bicycles. Kid One says, "Where'd you get that bucket of bolts, mister?" Kid Two hollers, "Hey, pal, get a horse!" You drive on. Clankety-clankety-clanketyvrooomm. vrooomm clankety. Finally, you limp into the mechanic's garage. He says, "What seems to be the problem?" You say, "There's this horrible noise in the engine." You turn on the ignition. Vrooomm. vrooomm vrooomm He says, "Give it some gas." Vrooomm. vrooomm vrooomm He says, "It sounds okay to me. I heard a slight whoooosh, but I don't think it's anything to worry about." Yes, there are black holes on Earth.

IT LOOKS LIKE PARADISE, BUT WE CALL IT 'PRESKIT'

Bradshaw Mountains and Lynx Lake (above); small-town charm, romantic Victorian architecture, and fascinating history; ranch lands of Skull Valley; Jerome, resurrected from ghost town status by artists; and an amazing array of intriguing things to see and do - word and color photo images of all this and more fill Arizona Highways' latest travel book.

A GUIDE TO PRESCOTT AND CENTRAL ARIZONA HIGH COUNTRY We Call It 'Preskit'

WE CALL IT 'PRESKIT': A GUIDE TO PRESCOTT AND CENTRAL ARIZONA HIGH COUNTRY Text by Prescott educator, historian, and explorer Jack L. August Jr. 53 full-color photographs. 64 pages. Softcover.

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