Arizona Humor

Trust Everybody in the Game, but Always Cut the Cards

In the early 1950s, both my parents worked at Meteor Crater, near Winslow. At that time the museum, gift shop, and living quarters were all in a building perched on the edge of the crater. Mother worked in the gift shop. She was accustomed to answering tourists' questions and did so with as much accuracy as possible. Once, however, a tourist learned we lived just in back of the gift shop and asked, "Didn't it scare you to death, having that thing fall so close to your house?"

Mother answered, "No. It happened at night, and we were all asleep."

BIG BANG RAIN, RAIN GO AWAY

A group of us stood around in a Prescott hardware store, gloomily eyeing the huge monsoon downpour outside. One clerk said, "I hope this rain doesn't cancel the Indian dances at the courthouse." The other clerk responded, "Well, maybe they shouldn't have practiced so hard."

NO STRAIGHT ANSWERS

Recently I sat outside the El Tovar Hotel enjoying a magnificent view of the Grand Canyon. A little girl, perhaps three or four years old, stood next to me. Soon a pregnant woman walked past us, and the little girl asked me if she was "growing a baby." When I said yes, she asked, "Well, how'd the baby get in her?"

I suggested she ask her parents that question. "Heck," she replied dramatically. "They don't know either."

Iwas getting ready to do my washing in a Willcox launderette when a friend came in with her dirty clothes. She dumped them all together in one machine and started it while I separated light colors, dark colors, and whites.

LAUNDRY CHAT

As she sat down with a Coke and a magazine, she said, "I really have to hand it to you. You certainly believe in organized grime."

doors, and their long tails blew gently in the breeze.

Between the strands of flying hair, we could clearly read this sign: "Don't be what you see.... Please drive carefully."

ANTIQUE ASBESTOS

A few years ago while rafting the Colorado River in the vicinity of Hance Rapid, we heard a short history of John Hance and his prospecting in various areas, including asbestos mining.

Later a fellow rafter came up with an unusual question for our guide: "Was asbestos as dangerous back then as it is today?"

TASTY TREAT

I had my first taste of rattlesnake in Arizona when our host offered some to everyone. As I was somewhat hesitant, he encouraged me, saying, "Try it. It's delicious!"

"It may be delicious," I said. "But how do you know they got all the venom out?"

"Just do what I do," he replied. "Offer some to everyone else first."

GOOD ADVICE

We'd vacationed in the northern part of the country and were happy to return to Arizona, where the special atmosphere of warmth and Western ways pleases us.

As we drove through Seligman, we came up behind a horse trailer loaded with two horses. Their rounded rumps were visible above the trailer

TO SUBMIT HUMOR

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We need short stories, no more than 200 words, that deal with Arizona topics and have a humorous punch line. Send them to Humor, Arizona Highways, 2039 W. Lewis Ave., Phoenix, AZ 85009. Please enclose your name, address, and telephone number with each submission. We'll notify those whose stories we intend to publish, but we cannot acknowledge or return unused submissions.