ARIZONA HUMOR

humor:

Nothing to Brag About In the mid11950s, a few years before he was elected sheriff of Cochise County, Jimmy Wilson was the resident deputy sheriff of Naco, near the Mexican border. One morning a bulletin was received, alerting border law enforcement officers to be on the lookout for one of the FBI's 10 Most Wanted fugitives. Wilson was in the right place at the right time. He confirmed the man's identity and took him into custody. A few days later, the people of Naco and Bisbee decided to honor Wilson with a banquet. When he was asked to get up and say a few words, he did so gruffly. "Folks," he said, "I certainly appreciate this fine dinner and the chance to see so many of my good friends, but I really don't know what all the fuss is about. After all, there are still nine fugitives out there loose."

WANTED Strings Attached

My sister and her husband were so excited about finally building their "dream house" that they visited the construction site with their young family. Mom and Dad pointed to the squares made by the stakes and strings, saying, "This is where Mommy and Daddy's room will be, this is the family room, this will be your room. ." Suddenly one youngster broke in, saying, "I think my friend's daddy could give you some boards." The affluent couple looked at their daughter in surprise and asked, "Why would we need boards from your friend's daddy?" Looking at them with sad eyes, the little girl replied, "So we don't have to live in a house made of strings."

IT'S Snow JOKE A cowboy in the kitchen is seldom at home on the range

finally building their "dream house" that they visited the construction site with their young family. Mom and Dad pointed to the squares made by the stakes and strings, saying, "This is where Mommy and Daddy's room will be, this is the family room, this will be your room. ." Suddenly one youngster broke in, saying, "I think my friend's daddy could give you some boards." The affluent couple looked at their daughter in surprise and asked, "Why would we need boards from your friend's daddy?" Looking at them with sad eyes, the little girl replied, "So we don't have to live in a house made of strings."

History Lesson

One of our granddaughters saw "The Buccaneers" being promoted on our local PBS station while she channel-surfed. "What's a buccaneer, Dad?" she asked. "The price of corn," he answered.

Jackrabbit Joker

A few years ago, my brother Charley and I were traveling through a small town in Arizona and discovered one resident's odd sense of humor. It cost us $2, but was worth the price. For miles approaching the town, jackrabbits darted across the highway and raced alongside our vehicle. A sign announced "Jackrabbits For Sale, 10 miles ahead." Charley joked how it would be interesting to have one as a pet and walk it about on a leash like a dog. So we stopped for coffee, and Charley asked the man behind the counter how much a rabbit would cost. "A dollar," he said. Then, rather slyly, he added, "Unless you want a strong, healthy one-they're two dollars." Charley plunked down two dollars in front of the man, who stuffed the bills into his pocket and began to walk away. "Hey, where's my rabbit?" Charley called after him. "Oh, it's open range here," he called over his shoulder at us, chuckling. "Just take your pick."

TO SUBMIT HUMOR

Send us an original short story, no more than 200 words, about your humorous experiences, and we'll pay $75 for each one we publish. Send them to Humor, Arizona Highways, 2039 W. Lewis Ave., Phoenix, AZ 85009. Please enclose your name, address, and telephone number with each submission. We'll notify those whose stories we intend to publish, but we cannot acknowledge or return unused submissions.