ARIZONA HUMOR

humor: Real cowgirls never give a diamondback The Tricky Part

While spending Thanksgiving with our friends in Phoenix, we sat down to a delicious turkey dinner. As he carved the bird, their son ribbed his dad, a surgeon. "See, Dad, I'd make a pretty good surgeon, too," he joked. His father laughed and replied, "If you want to show me what a good surgeon you'd make, let me see you put it back together."

Charles E. Hauser, Bullhead City

For the Boys

Near the end of World War II, a hospital ship carrying American soldiers crossed the Atlantic, heading for home. Many were from Arizona, and one of them had smuggled a small dog aboard. The men named her Amber. Some of the doctors and nurses knew about the stowaway, but chose to ignore it because of the obvious joy Amber brought to the patients. As the ship neared home port, the men drew lots to see who would try to get the dog ashore without the officers in charge seeing her. When the ship docked, the GI delegated to carry Amber under his voluminous olive-drab topcoat descended the gangplank, and his buddies watched with concern as a high-ranking officer followed him closely. As the two men stepped ashore, the officer leaned over to the transgressor and murmured softly, "Look out, son, your tail is wagging." Then the officer walked calmly down the dock.

Dorothy Forman, Macomb, IL

Opportunity Lost

Last summer my husband and I and our two-year-old daughter were driving out of the Superstition Mountains when we came across a truck with an engine fire. My husband jumped out with a fire extinguisher and put out the flames. Instantly our daughter started to cry. "What's wrong?" I asked her. "Nobody let me sing 'Happy Birthday,' she cried.

Sonya Burton, Apache Junction

Weather Control

Fog rolled in one morning during our visit to the Grand Canyon, so only the peaks were visible. Perhaps as a result, a large crowd gathered in the visitors center to listen to a ranger lecture on the geology of the Canyon. The mood was rather sullen. Suddenly a man wearing two cameras around his neck burst into the room and interrupted the ranger, exclaiming, "I'm here on a tour, and I've only got 20 minutes to see this place. When do you expect the fog to lift?"

Mrs. Donald Arndt, Berthoud, CO

Always the Same Game

It was my good fortune to land a teaching interview at Scottsdale's Tavan Elementary School. I was new to the area, but had taught for three years in Ohio. As the principal and I toured the tree-lined walks of Tavan, he asked what aspects of recess duty I thought might be challenging. I commented on a simple item or two, but quickly noted, "At least I won't be ducking any snowballs here in the Valley of the Sun." The principal's eyes twinkled as he asked, "Do you know what kind of trees these are?" I shook my head. "They're olive trees," he responded wistfully. "Hundreds of hard green olives grow on these trees."

Mrs. Mev Adams, Wyomissing, PA

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The cowboy saying at the top of the page is from the Arizona Highways humor book Cow Pie Ain't No Dish You Take to the County Fair. To order call toll-free (800) 543-5432. The book costs $6.95 plus shipping and handling.

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