ARIZONA HUMOR

Special Training

I took my parents to the National Festival of the West in Scottsdale. We topped off the day of wonderful cowboy activities at the rodeo arena, watching Steve Harris train a wild horse.

We watched in amazement as Harris gently manipulated that wild animal into submission. In less than one hour he had bridled, saddled and was riding the horse, which never fussed or bucked once.

My mother leaned in my direction and said softly, "I wish I'd known that technique 50 years ago. It would have been so much easier on your father."

Mine Tour Talker

While taking the guided tour of the Queen Mine in Bisbee, one woman kept up aconstant stream of complaints to her husband and everyone else. The mine was too dark, she felt cold and the tram seat hurt her back.

Then she asked in a panic, "What if the mine collapses? How will we all get out?"

Her husband looked thoughtful, then for the first time responded to her continual whining: "Where else could you be buried for $10?" he asked.

Never heard another word from her.

Packin' 'Em Out!

Phantom Ranch, located at the bottom of the Grand Canyon, receives all its provisions and removes all its waste by mule train. All garbage is carefully weighed and balanced, then covered with canvas to keep it from scattering.

My wife and I were hiking into the Canyon and came across a mule train resting. Some tenderfoot hikers also had stopped there. As the wrangler prepared to leave, one of the city-slickers shouted, "Hey cowboy, what have you got on those mules?"

Eyes twinkling, the wrangler replied, "Just haulin' a load of dead hikers up outta the Canyon."

Pardon Me

An Ohio woman on her way to Phoenix to visit her two daughters made an unannounced side trip to Las Vegas. Tipped by a traveling companion, the daughters made their own surprise trip to meet their mother in the casino. Mom was so engrossed in playing the slots she didn't notice that her daughters sat at the machines on each side of her.

The girls plunked a few quarters in and ordered drinks with no recognition from Mom. Then they started passing change back and forth, reaching between Mom and her machine. Still no recognition "I thought you two looked familiar, but you were too rude to be my daughters."

Generation Gap

My husband and I had our home built on the boundary of Lake Havasu City, adjacent to federal property. We often see coyotes, burros and many other desert critters passing through the neighborhood. One summer evening our neighbors came for a visit, and their 4-year-old daughter, Carly, let out a screech. There were coyotes in the back yard, she exclaimed, but when I checked the yard and surrounding area, I found nothing.

"Carly, are you telling the truth?" I asked her, quite seriously. She nodded.

Just to be sure, I asked, "Have you heard the story about the little boy who cried wolf?"

She looked me straight in the eye and replied, "No, but when it comes out on video, I'll come over and watch it with you."

Only when they moved their stools closer and began punching the keys on their mother's machine did she finally notice them. With a flicker of recognition, Mom leaned back and said, "Well, I

Journey Through the Wild West and Learn the ABCs Too!

The ABCs have moved to the Wild West. And they brought with them the Buffalo Bug Band (Bubba, Buster, Billy-Bob and Paul), LetterBug, Zeb the Zebratail Lizard, Quincy the Quail and dozens of their friends. Join them as they visit Sunset Crater, Monument Valley, the Alamo, Yellowstone, and other great Western places to study the alphabet. In this unique book, each letter has its own special character who helps parents and teachers explore the alphabet with children. As a special feature, each cleverly illustrated Western scene hides a letter. If you have trouble finding it, LetterBug will come to your rescue, giving you a clue. Even the Buffalo Bug Band gets involved! The Best Alphabet Book in the Wild West is an innovative way to help youngsters untangle the knotty mysteries of the ABCs. And a great way for grown-ups to join the fun.

THE BEST ALPHABET BOOK IN THE WILD WEST Text by Madeline Bennett. Illustrations by Gary Bennett. For ages 3 to 7. 32 pages. Hardcover. #ABCC9 $14.95 TO ORDER: Use the attached card or call toll-free nationwide, 1-800-543-5432. In the Phoenix area or outside the U.S., call 602-712-2000. Or fax to 602-254-4505. Visit us at www.arizonahighways.com to order online.