ARIZONA HUMOR

Dreaded Disease

One pleasant October day in Phoenix, I picked up my daughter, Ericka, at the elementary school where she attends kindergarten. I noticed a very concerned look on her face, and when we got into the car I asked how her day went.

"Mom," she said, looking at me, her dark eyes large and round, "I've got something important to tell you when we get home."

"Tell me now," I prompted. But she wanted to wait, so I drove on, wondering about the big secret. As we walked into our house, I turned to her again.

"Now will you tell me?" I asked.

Hands on hips, she exclaimed, "Guess what? My teacher says I've beenexposed to chicken hawks."

Who's Famous?

Our 7-year-old grandson collects Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle figures. Before his birthday, I scanned the toy section of Wal-Mart and discovered that the turtles were all named after famous painters: Michelangelo, Rafael, Leonardo and Donatello. I bought "Michelangelo."

After my grandson opened the present, his mother asked, "Did you know Michelangelo used to be a famous painter?" Perplexed, the boy looked at his toy, then back at his mother, and asked, "Well, when did he turn into a turtle?"

Greetings

My good friends from Phoenix, Chuck and Regina Arthur, vacationed recently in Hawaii. Upon entering their hotel's elevator one day, they encountered an elderly Japanese gentleman who bowed to them and said, "Ohayo," which means "Good morning" in Japanese. Regina, unfamiliar with the language and mistaking the word for "Ohio," responded with, "Arizona."

A Real Comedian

As land surveyors, my partner, Bob Weaver, and I are accustomed to people asking questions about what we do and why. Frequently, they'll come out of their houses just to satisfy their curiosity. Recently we went to Mayer to run a bench loop down Main Street and transfer an elevation to a job site.

Halfway to the site, I paced out the distance while carrying the surveying rod over my shoulder. As I walked past one house, I heard the door open, and expected the usual questions. Instead, I heard a man's voice call out to me, "Say, are you trying to walk softly and carry a big stick?"

Oddest inquiry, however, was from a couple who had traveled up from Williams and asked, "Is there anything to see around here?"

Unwritten Code

When I volunteered at the Ocotillo branch of the Phoenix Public Library, one of my assignments was to go through the paperback books and pull out the dog-eared and worn copies. When I started on the Western paperbacks, I found so many disreputable-looking copies that removing them would have cleared out almost the entire stock.

I mentioned this to the librarian, who said, "Oh, don't throw away any of the Westerns, no matter how they look. Those are so popular we can't keep them on the shelves. And it's funny, but none of them ever gets stolen every book is always returned. We haven't been able to figure that out."

A library patron, browsing through the Westerns within earshot, interrupted brightly and said, "Oh, that's just the Code of the West."

Nothing to Do?

When my husband managed a McDonald's restaurant in Tusayan, 7 miles from the Grand Canyon, he fielded many interesting questions from his guests, like "How far is it to the Canyon?" and "Why does water cost money?" The

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