HUMOR

“No sir. They only die once.”

WATER BABIES

My older daughter laughed and said, “You’re not sick. You’re just part rattlesnake.”

ROUGH FLIGHT

An airline pilot told me that on one particular Phoenix landing he hammered his plane onto the runway really hard. The airline had a policy that required him to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile and give them a “thank you for flying XYZ airline.” He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a difficult time looking the passengers in the eye. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady with a cane. She walked up to him, leaned on her cane and asked, “Did we land or were we shot down?”

NO ACCIDENT

“Nah,” the cowboy said, “they done it on purpose.”

NO IDLE HANDS

“I guess not,” she sighed. “You see, for me, maternity leave is only a pregnant pause.”

CREATIVE CONSTRUCTING

He expected a laugh and was surprised when the tourist replied, “How clever!”

CREATIVE PLAYTIME

Whenever their grandson tried to play outside, the rambunctious goat butted him. But the clever boy found a solution. When he wanted to play in the yard, he first ran in a wide circle around the goat, causing the animal to gallop around after him. In the chase, the rope got shorter and shorter, snubbing the goat against the tree and leaving the yard safe for the boy to play.