HUMOR

DESERT DAREDEVILS

ON FEBRUARY 10, 1897, DESERT DAREDEVIL EDWARD H. HUNNGATE ATTEMPTED TO GO OVER 185-FOOT GRAND FALLS ON THE LITTLE COLORADO RIVER IN A BARREL CACTUS! WHILE SURVIVING THE DROP, THE HAPLESS HUNNGATE WAS DOOMED TO THE FATE OF PICKING CACTUS NEEDLES FROM HIS FLESH FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE!

Unusual Perspective

Charles D. Poston was the peripatetic frontiersman who liked to be called the "Father of Arizona." Boy, what some people will do just to get a gift on Father's Day.

THE BEST OF INTENTIONS

Two men were driving their pickup truck on a vacation trip into the desert. Looking ahead along the highway, they saw a dog that appeared dead. As they approached, the animal raised its head.

They stopped and decided to take it to the veterinarian in the town they'd just passed. As they lifted it into the back of the pickup, the dog tried to bite them, so they muzzled it with two firmly knotted handkerchiefs.

After replacing the handkerchiefs with a proper muzzle, the vet examined his patient.

"No broken bones and no signs of internal injuries," he announced. "Only the shoulder bruise, no doubt where the vehicle struck him, is probably sore. That should heal quickly. When he recovers from this shock - in a few hours or sooner - he'll be right as rain."

The men explained they had to go on. Laying some bills on the table, "Sad case of the fellow on the 4th floor." "What's that?" "He plays the cornet for his own amusement, but he got so hard up lately that he had to pawn the instrument."

they suggested advertising for the dog's owner. "Don't think that'll be necessary," the vet replied. "You recognize the dog?" asked one of the men. "No," the vet replied. "This is no dog. It's a coyote."

CACTUS LEANING

While vacationing in Arizona, my girlfriend and I hiked a nature trail. We read in the trail guide that Arizona's barrel cacti always lean to the southwest. When my girlfriend asked why that was, I replied, "Because they're so inclined."

BUSY NIGHTS

I visited a friend in Sun City who told me the best time to have children is when you're retired. By that time you've got to get up every 10 minutes anyhow.

MURDER IN THE GARDEN

After a bumper crop of zucchini, I made 14 loaves of zucchini bread. Since retirement, my husband and I have an agreement. I'm the cook and he is the bottle washer. Upon surveying the monstrous pile of dirty baking dishes in the kitchen sink, he asked, "Where's my shotgun?" "It's where it always is," I said. Then "Well?" "Now he can't borrow a dollar in the entire building because everybody is afraid he'll get the blamed tooter out of pawn."

asked, "Why do you want to know?" "I'm going to stomp the livin' daylights out of the zucchini plants, and if that doesn't kill 'em, I'm going to shoot 'em!"

SLOW AFTERNOON

While traveling through a small town in Arizona, I spied a castiron meat-smoking unit next to a small café. Having a weakness for barbeque, I decided to stop for an early dinner. Inside, I found only the waitress and the cook. After I placed my order, I struck up a conversation with the waitress and commented that business seemed a bit slow.

"Yes," she replied. "If it weren't for all the flies I have to swat, I could have slept most of the afternoon."

TO SUBMIT HUMOR

Send your jokes and humorous Arizona anecdotes to Humor, Arizona Highways, 2039 W. Lewis Ave., Phoenix, AZ 85009 or e-mail us at [email protected]. We'll pay $50 for each item used. Please enclose your name, address and telephone number with each submission.

Reader's Corner

A prospector is someone who ventures out hoping to get lucky with only a jackass for a companion. Come to think of it, that pretty much sums up most of my dates.

Old West prospecting is this month's can-you-top-this joke topic. So send us your prospecting jokes, and if we use them, we'll send you a check.

Feeling a little edgy?

... You should get out more often.

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Check Out This This Outdoors Companion Guidebook SAGUAROS

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