EXPERIENCE ARIZONA

The interesting thing to me, though, is that the mountain was named twice. "Picacho" in Spanish means "peak." So, this summit is named "Peak Peak," or, in Spanish, "Picacho Picacho."

I mentioned this to a friend recently. It was a mistake to discuss redundancy with this friend, someone who has the uncanny ability to contradict the first part of his sentences with the last part of his sentences. For instance, once I said to him, "You look a little pensive."

He said, "Nah, I'm just thinking."

He can actually draw square circles verbally.

Nevertheless, I told him that the name "Picacho Peak" bothered me.

He asked why.

I said, "Because I dislike redundancy."

He said, "You can say that again."

See what I mean?

I said, "If I said it again, that would be redundant, wouldn't it?"

He said, "Yeah... I guess so."

I said, "So why would I want to be redundant when I dislike redundancy?"

He said, "Anyone who uses the word 'redundant' as many times as you've just used it can't be too opposed to it."

I defended myself. I said, "I used the word 'redundant' because I wanted to use redundancy to make a point about being redundant. I'm trying to make you understand something."

He said, "Well, you could have fooled me."

"I'm not trying to fool you," I said. "I'm trying to explain something to you."

"Explain what?"

"That redundancy is redundant."

He said, "Well, you can't say that often enough."

"Yes, you can," I told him. "That's the point. I believe if you say something once, that should be enough."

"That goes double for me," he said.

This was exasperating. I said, "I'm trying to explain something to you, and you're totally blind to the logic."

"I can see that," he said.

"No, you can't see it!" I yelled.

"You just switch everything around. You have an oxymoronic mind."

"Hold on," he said. "There's no need for you to call me a moron."

"I said 'oxymoron.' That's two terms used together that are contradictory. Like 'divorce court' or 'jumbo shrimp.' Those are oxymorons."

"Ah, that's old news."

"That's another one," I said. "Your mind just thinks in oxymorons." He said, "You mean I just come up with them automatically?"

I said, "Yes. I find that incredible."

He said, "You'd better believe it."

I said, "If I find it incredible, I can't believe it. You contradict everything that's said."

He said, "I can agree with that."

"You're amazing," I said. "If you had named Picacho Peak, you probably would have called it Hole in the Ground Mountain."

"I don't think I would have," he said.

"How about Mount Sea Level?"

"That's not funny," he said.

"Here's a good one-Subway Summit."

He said, "You're getting on my nerves. I don't have to sit here and stand for this."

"Sit here and stand for this!" I repeated through my laughter.

"You're being rude now," he said.

"I'm sorry. I just can't help it. You inadvertently contradict everything that's said."

He said, "Well, here's something I'm absolutely sure of that you're probably the most intolerant person I know."

I said, "You did it again."

"What?" he said.

I said, "If you're absolutely sure, then I wouldn't be probably the most intolerant person you know. I would be the most intolerant person you know."

He said, "Okay, you are. And I'll tell you another thing I'm absolutely, positively, probably sure of-you're not my friend and I never want to talk to you again."

I said, "Are you sure you never want to talk to me again... ever?"

He said, "We can discuss that later." And heheaded for the door.

I said, "Where are you going?"

He said, "Up to Table Mesa." He slammed the door when he left.

It let him go. I didn't think it was the time to tell him that "mesa" actually means "table." So he was going to "Table Table," or, in Spanish, to "Mesa Mesa."

It wasn't important. AH