HUMOR

humorc heat strokes "How long a minute is depends on which side of the outhouse door you're on." * EARLY-DAY ARIZONA

"It's wrong to call some actors hams." "Why?" "Because they are hopeless, while hams can be cured." -HOLBROOK ARGUS, AUGUST 31, 1901

Unusual Perspective

Flaming Gorge is part of the Grand Canyon that got its name from the blazing red-and-orangecolored, 1,200foot-high walls. I thought "flaming gorge" was what happens every time Dad tries to barbecue.

Cowboy Jokes

We asked our readers for cowboy jokes. Here are some of the responses.

MISSED CALLING

My mother never wanted me to grow up to be a cowboy, so I wear a 10gallon beret.

GOOD RECRUITS

Boy Scouts would make good cowboys. They already know the ropes.

UNFAIR FIGHT

A cowboy staggers through the door to the saloon. His ear is half ripped off, he has a black eye, a couple of teeth knocked out and a severe limp. "Ned, what in blazes happened to you? You look like you've been run over by a train," says the bartender. "Wal," croaks Ned, "I got into a tussle with Ricky Jones."

NEW COWBOYS

I'm a cowboy, but I'm new at it. I thought chaps were cowboys from the United Kingdom.

I'm a cowboy, but I'm new at it. I still get rider's block.

You walk with a pretty big swagger, considering you're new to the cowboy profession."

"I ain't swaggering, I'm saddle sore."

DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES

You know you're a cowboy burnout when high noon occurs at 4:20 P.M.

My uncle says that he's a real cowboy because he has four stomachs and is constantly chewing.

BACKWARD GLANCE

Brian, a teen-ager from the inner city of Chicago, won a contest. The prize was a week's vacation at an Arizona dude ranch. The first morning offered a half day's ride into Mogollon Rim Country. Enthusiastically, Brian mounted his horse, but he sat in the saddle facing the rear. The cowboy tour guide asked him, "Are ya 'fraid of the future, young feller?" Perplexed, Brian replied, "No, why?" "Well," said the guide, "the way yer a-settin', yer only gonna see where ya've been."

BRANDING BATTLES

In the early days of the West, according to lore, cattle brands were frequently altered by cattle thieves. One cowboy, so the story goes, branded his cattle "B4." When he went to round up his cattle, they were all marked "B4U," and claimed by a nearby spread. The cowboy got even by branding every cow on the range "B4U2."

From the Witworks® humor book Sometimes the Bull Wins by Jim Willoughby. To order, call toll-free (800) 543-5432. $6.95 (plus shipping & handling).

TO SUBMIT HUMOR

Send your jokes and humorous Arizona anecdotes to Humor, Arizona Highways, 2039 W. Lewis Ave., Phoenix, AZ 85009 or e-mail us at [email protected]. We'll pay $50 for each item used. Please enclose your name, address and telephone number with each submission.

Reader's Corner

Really good gunfighters went down in Old West history. Really bad gunfighters just went down.

Our topic this month is gunfighters. Send us your gunfighter jokes, and we'll pay you $50 for each one we use.

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