EXPERIENCE ARIZONA

JAVELINAS' Aromatic Identification System Makes PERFECT SCENTS

THE JAVELINA IS NOT A PIG, ALTHOUGH THEY are distant cousins. It's a peccary. If you call a javelina a pig, I'm not sure if you're insulting it or raising it to a status it doesn't truly deserve. I remember a school chum of mine telling me that he stood up for me one day. He told me that another classmate of mine said I wasn't fit to eat with pigs. I said, "How did you defend me?" He said, "I told him you were." Compliment? I'm not sure. Nevertheless, whether it's praise or putdown, the javelina is a peccary rather than a pig. What's the difference, you ask. Well, it's considerable. Peccaries are smaller than pigs. The adult javelina weighs 40 or 50 pounds, while many species of pigs can reach 600 pounds. Javelinas, for the most part, eat only plant food. Pigs are more omnivorous. There are anatomical differences, also. All peccaries have a small scent gland on the rear portion of the back. Pigs don't. This scent gland is intriguing because it largely controls the social life of javelinas, which travel around the desert in closely knit herds. They're very devoted to their own community, and they show no tendency toward internal competition. Different herds do not intermingle. The distinctive odor given off by the scent gland is how the individual javelina recognizes its own herd. I learned all this on a tour I took through the desert surrounding Tucson. As the tour guide spoke, one thought crossed my mind-I'm glad that humans don't follow the same protocol. Can you imagine going to a wedding and being greeted at the entrance by the tuxedoed usher? "Are you with the bride or the groom?" "We're with the groom." "Are you sure?" he says. "You smell like you'd be with the bride." I say, "Maybe it's this new aftershave lotion, but we're definitely with the groom." "I could have sworn you'd be with the bride." "Sniff again, pal, and just put us on the groom's side, will you?" Awkward, isn't it? But it would be worse at sporting events. Take football games, for example. Football fanatics show their allegiance by displaying school colors. People paint one side of their face green and the other side yellow (or whatever the particular school colors are). True supporters will strip to the waist and paint their entire upper bodies with the team's colors. Imagine if odors instead of pigments were utilized-attendance would plummet. The scent gland system works well for javelinas, though, because they have that laidback peccary personality. They're friendly, sociable, noncompetitive. We humans are more thin-skinned and confrontational. For example, imagine what would happen if you met and conversed with a stranger. "You're not from around here, are you?" you'd say. "No, I'm not," he'd say. You'd say, "Let me see, I'll bet you're from (name any state or region you like here)." He'd say, "Yes, I am. Could you tell from the accent?" You'd say, "No, you just smell like you're from (name any state or region you like here)." Bam. Right away, you're into a fight. There could be a benefit for humans, though. It might get rid of those pesky nametags at parties. You know-you write your name in marker, peel off the back of the tag and stick it to your shirt. I hate those things. As far as I'm concerned, if a person throws a party, he or she should only invite people who already know one another. When javelinas have parties they don't invite javelinas from other herds. Consequently, you'll hardly ever see a peccary in the wild wearing a nametag. I don't like nametags because I can never get them on straight. They're always crooked, and I'm compulsive about things being straight. If I'm at your house, and there's a picture tilting on your wall, I'll straighten it. So, I hate having a crooked nametag. You can't take them off and realign them. They never stick very well again. However, I suppose it's preferred to the "scratch and sniff" form of identification. Mother Nature had it right all along. Let peccaries be peccaries and let pigs be pigs. We can all remain our lovable human selves. That idea smells pretty good to me. All In the book Growing Older is So Much Fun EVERYBODY'S Doing It, author Gene Perret says, "If it weren't for us older people, Boy Scouts would have to help each other cross the street."

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