Arizona Humor

Special Bird, Indeed A friend and I drove to Will-cox to see the sandhill cranes that winter at Willcox Playa, but, after driving around for an hour and not seeing any, we stopped at a restaurant for lunch. As we came through the doorway, an old-timer was just about to exit. Certainly, we thought, he'd know where the big birds might be located. "Excuse me, sir," my friend asked, "do you know where the cranes are?" He stopped and rubbed his chin while he contemplated. "The Cranes? Ah, I believe they are having dinner right now in the dining room." Eileen Palese Tucson Caterpillars getting a foothold in Arizona because they'll eat every bit of foliage for miles." Steve looked around at the treeless, wide-open expanse of that part of Arizona and said, "Inspector, I hate to tell you this, but I think they've already been here." Ed Cain Phoenix village in silence as the Indian pointed the way to a small home on the edge of the reservation. As they came to a stop, the doctor grabbed his bag from the backseat and asked, "Who is it that's sick?" "Oh, no one's sick," replied the Indian. "A taxi costs $7.50." W.N. Craig Tucson Interesting Scenery One November, I took my Boy Scout troop to the Navajo Army Depot, west of Flagstaff. Among the attractions was a train ride that offered a superb view of the forest and an occasional glimpse of deer and elk. As we climbed aboard, a few sprinkles were falling, but because this train ride was expected to be the highlight ofour trip, we decided to endure the weather. Soon, though, the light rain turned into heavy sheets, and then into a hailstorm. Army personnel quickly covered passengers in the open cars with clear plastic sheeting for protection. As the storm refused to let up, we went through the whole tour draped in the makeshift covering. As we unloaded after the ride was over, the engineer approached one of our scoutmasters and asked how he enjoyed the ride. "Well," the scoutmaster replied, "that was some of the most beautiful tarpaulin I've ever seen in my life." Art Martori Phoenix The New Doctor A young doctor fresh from the Midwest had just opened his practice near a reservation. As he walked through town one day, an Indian approached him, asking how much he would charge to go to the reservation. The doctor, seeing he was obviously of little means, said, "Oh, I'll drive out there for $5." "Okay," said the Indian, "let's go." The pair drove toward thevillage in silence as the Indian pointed the way to a small home on the edge of the reservation. As they came to a stop, the doctor grabbed his bag from the backseat and asked, "Who is it that's sick?" "Oh, no one's sick," replied the Indian. "A taxi costs $7.50." W.N. Craig Tucson Faithful Servant Many years ago, my grandfather was a circuit-riding preacher in eastern Arizona and western New Mexico. One summer he arrived in a little town in Arizona for his service, but a heavy rain the night before had flooded the area. Only one cowboy showed up. Nonetheless, my grandfather delivered the sermon, and after it was over, he asked the cowboy what he thought of the service. "Preacher," drawled the man, "I'm just an ole cowboy an' don't know much, but if I take a load of hay out to feed the cows an' only one shows up, I don't give her the whole load." Thomas LaMance Prewitt, NM Out for the Count When I lived in Wellton, I went to a party where the punch was concocted of several different types of alcohol. After a short time, I remarked to a friend that one fellow looked a bit tipsy. "Yes," my friend replied. "He must think he's a boxer - he always beats everyone to the punch." Ruth Burke Plainview, TX Oriented at Last Ifinally realized we weren't living in Michigan anymore when my young son asked, "Can I go outside? I've got to warm up." Ernest C. Haas Phoenix Infested Lands When we moved from New York to Phoenix in 1987, my friend Steve agreed to haul my antique truck by trailer from Long Island to our new home. Upon entering Arizona from New Mexico on Interstate 40, Steve encountered Arizona's agricultural inspection station and was asked to pull over. The inspector began to examine the underside of the truck and trailer, explaining that he was looking for gypsy moth eggs. "Hey, we don't want those

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Send us a short note about your humorous experiences in Arizona, and we'll pay $75 for each one we publish. We're looking for short stories, no more than 200 words, that deal with Arizona topics and have a humorous punch line. Send them to Humor, Arizona Highways, 2039 W. Lewis Ave., Phoenix, AZ 85009. Please enclose your name, address, and telephone number with each submission. We'll notify those whose stories we intend to publish, but we cannot acknowledge or return unused submissions.