ARIZONA HUMOR

humor:

Special Delivery My youngest son came into the world in the '70s in Pinetop. The local hospital didn't have the facilities or the philosophy for the father to participate, so our doctor suggested I deliver in his office as several of his other patients had done. And so Trevor greeted the world in Dr. Martin's office. Seventeen years later, while vacationing in Pinetop, I wanted to show Trevor where he'd been born. Dr. Martin's office had been located in the corner of an L-shaped strip mall, but the doctor had retired several years earlier, and the space formerly housing his office now boasted a new business. Trevor was surprised, but proudly told all his friends that he'd been born in Joey's Pizza Parlor.

Sounds Logical Morenci is home to the top-producing copper mine in North America, and several years ago I taught school there. One day a group of visitors gathered at the door to my classroom for a look around. A lady in the group asked if I would answer a question for her, one her husband apparently felt wasn't worth asking. I told her I'd try. "Well, then," she said, "why did they put the copper mine so far away from Phoenix?"

Rodeo Expert Seated behind us in the bleachers at a rodeo was a family with two smallYou're a real cowboy if you use your belt buckle as a form of IDchildren, a girl about five and her slightly older brother.

The children had been enthusiastic about the opening parade, the barrel racing, and the clowns, but when the calf roping started, the little girl shrieked for the cowboys to stop "killing" the baby cows. Before her parents could comfort her with the truth, her big brother put his arm around her and explained, as only a wise and knowledgeable older sibling could, that the cowboys weren't killing the calves; they were only breaking their legs.

Getting Even Last year my wife and ILwere traveling in Arizona. Nearing Flagstaff, we pulled into a truck stop just off Interstate 40 for a bite to eat. An elderly truck driver sat down at a table near ours and ordered coffee, a hamburger, and a piece of pie. As he prepared to eat, three large, unshaven, rather unsavory men entered and headed right for him. One ate his hamburger, another devoured his pie, and the third drank all of his coffee. Quietly the elderly man stood, paid his check, and left. The three sat down at another table, and when the waitress walked over to take their orders, they remarked, "That little fellow who just left, he wasn't much of a man, was he?" Her voice lifted just a bit as she replied, "Well, he wasn't much of a driver, either, because when he left, his 18-wheeler ran over three motorcycles."

Bad Luck Visitor We visited the Grand Canyon in early March and picked an especially poor day to arrive. Great clouds loomed overhead, and the bottom of the Canyon was hidden in a dense fog. Then a steady and seemingly endless rain started falling. While making a purchase in a gift shop, I commented to the clerk, "You know, I was here once before, in 1939, and it rained that day, too." The customer standing next to me heard this, turned, and said, "If I had known you were coming today, I would have come next week."

TO SUBMIT HUMOR Send us an original short story, no more than 200 words, about your humorous experiences, and we'll pay $75 for each one we publish. Send them to Humor, Arizona Highways, 2039 W. Lewis Ave., Phoenix, AZ 85009. Please enclose your name, address, and telephone number with each submission. We'll notify those whose stories we intend to publish, but we cannot acknowledge or return unused submissions.

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